Can I tell you something really screwed up? I generally hate New Years Eve. A year ending, a year starting. Saying goodbye to the old and hello to a fresh clean slate. It's too much pressure. My plans always fall through, I never have a NYE kiss, and somehow I always manage to end up in a bad mood.
Well this year, I was sick. Head fog, sinus pressure, congestion, a nasty wheezing hacking cough. It never fails! I loaded up on cold meds and vitamin C and had a box of Kleenex practically glued to my side, but nothing helped. I managed to stay away until 10 pm before passing out on the couch and then finally relocating to my sister's bed (family from out of town were staying in my room).
Sleep was deliciously good but this was the first year since I was a tiny person that I missed seeing the new year altogether. No ball drop, no champagne, no kisses from strangers.
But somehow, I'm okay with that. This year, I didn't build up that anticipation. I didn't agonize over getting things to be justright. I just let it be. And it was fine.
Or maybe that's just the cold meds talking.
But, I can honestly say that I'm not sad to see 2010 go.
It's been a hell of a year filled with many ups and downs. But this year seemed to have many more downs than some years passed. I did some things this year that I wasn't really proud of. I slept too little, drank too much, procrastinated on my school work in a way that almost killed me in the end.
But I learned. A lot. I learned about responsibility and owning up to my decisions. I learned how my actions affect others, and how sometimes crying is just what you need to do. I've also gained a new perspective on finances and what it takes to make it in this world.
I did a few things right this year too. I made some headway on figuring out my future goals and am starting to get used to the idea that college is almost over. I gained a confidence and sense of self that I never used to have, and I'm continuing to work on it every day. I'm blessed with a great family and good friends, and I'm excited to see who 2011 will bring my way.
And you know what? How could 2011 suck when SNOOKI was IN THE BALL as it dropped in Times Square. I believe it can't.
(Not that I actually saw any of this, but thank god for YouTube.)