Monday, December 27, 2010

This might be too much information.

So I got an iPod touch for Christmas. It's awesome and reminds me how much I love technology and getting what I want. Also? Being able to blog while you're on the toilet. Super win.

Not that I'm doing that right now...

Friday, December 24, 2010

The future's so bright

I want to:
*Learn how to sail and spend a week out at sea
*Create a workout plan and stick to it
*Volunteer at an AIDS support organization/orphanage in Africa
*Live abroad for one year
*broaden my cooking knowledge
*brush up on my French and learn Italian
*Go vegetarian for one month
*Shamelessly flirt with a cute guy (in a day, non-drinking scene)
*Create a budget and financial savings plan

Just to name a few. What do you want to do?

Thursday, December 23, 2010

I'm pretty sure this means I'm a homewrecker.

A few months ago I wrote a little letter.

At the time I was all, "This will never happen but its still all funsies and jokey." Then shit got real. Because IT HAPPENED. And I do feel bad, I really do.

How was I supposed to know that he was going to take it so seriously? So, here's note #2 to my future husband.

 Don't look so sad, Ryan. I'll take care of you.

Dear Ryan,

I'm sincerely sorry to hear about the breakup between you and Scarlett. I know you must be all kinds of hurt-y, and I would just like to let you know that I'm here and thinking of you. I take it that my last letter had quite an impact on your relationship, and I am feeling sort of to blame for the whole situation. But I know we could be great together so forget about ScarJo, and call me when you're ready.

xoxox Chelsea

I hope you all have a fantastic Christmas Eve Eve. Sorry, no calls or texts tonight--I'll be waiting for a very important phone call.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas

I've come to realize that around the holidays people generally fall into the following categories: people who love the holidays more than their first born, those who would rather gouge their eyes out than listen to a Christmas carol, and those of us who are trying not to kill anyone from the first two groups. Now, I've always been a fan of Christmas. There are presents, lots of homemade food, a few glorious weeks off from school, and quality time with family and friends. What's not to like?!

I've been extremely fortunate over the years. My family is far from rich, we've struggled and scraped and lived paycheck to paycheck, but somehow my wonderful parents always managed to put food on the table and put a few thoughtful presents under the tree. This, I know, is not the case for many, many people. This entire winter break I have been lacking some serious holiday spirit, and it's the first year in a long time that I've neglected to stop and reflect what this season is all about. Until I read this. The Bloggess has always been one of my favorite bloggers; author Jenny Lawson never fails to make me laugh out loud and cry at my computer (and generally all in the same post!). She rocks and deserves to know it.

This year, Jenny decided that she wanted to give back to some of her readers who are struggling to make ends meet this year. She planned on giving away twenty $30 Amazon gift cards to the first twenty commenters who explained why this gift card would make a difference in their lives right now. The results were amazing. The twenty gift cards went lightning fast, but something heartwarming also happened. Mixed in with all of the desperate comments from people across the globe looking for help, were comments asking jenny how they could get involved. For every single person who said they needed help, one person (and thensome!) stepped up to help them out. Jenny predicts that over 900 gift cards were sent out by 689 of her readers to 450 other readers--totaling over $40,000 worth of donations.

It was after reading Jenny's updates and an article written by The Washington Post, I was struck why it is that I love the community of bloggers. In a world in which there is so much negativity and struggling, that is only intensified by the holiday season, it is incredibly moving to be reminded that there are still so many normal people doing good, spreading kindness, and sharing love. And the thing that I am trying to keep myself mindful of as Christmas passes and the New Year comes, is that there are people who do things like this year round, too, with little recognition. So, thank you, Jenny, The Bloggess for starting this incredible chain of events. Thank you to everyone who donated and took part. And thank you to those who do great things like this everyday, in every country around the world. Our world is brighter because of people like you.

Wishing you all safe and happy Christmas! xoxo


 Welcome to the new and improved home of House of Crazy. As you might have noticed, a lot of things have changed around here! I originally started this blog at a time this year when I really was feeling truly crazy--hence, the name! Now that I've grown into my own over the last few months and am back up and running, I thought a new look suited the new me :)

After a lot of thought and internet browsing, I came across the quote you can find down to the left. Something about it really struck a chord with me. In the last few months I have been working on my inner-confidence and owning myself, and this quote reminded me of the importance of believing, especially in yourself. I believe that all women are queens, and we should treat ourselves as such. I'm hoping that this new corner of the internet will help me to embrace the divine girl I know is inside, and to bring a little positivity and love to all the other lovely ladies out there, too.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Today is the day.

A few months ago I made a decision. About the same time that I decided to break up with the internet, I promised myself that I was going to apply to Teach For America.

I've spent the last year and a half attempting to make a post-graduation plan for myself. Grad school? Vagabond traveling? Full time job? As much as I would like to pack my bags and head for the horizon, I know that my student loan bills are looming. I have practically nothing in my savings, and if I don't want to end up living in a cardboard box come June, I figured I should probably make a game plan.

Teach For America is a two-year national service organization that places qualified and enthusiastic individuals in classrooms in low-income school districts across the US. TFA is designed to help eliminate educational inequality in the United States by providing the much needed teaching staff in regions that are high in poverty and low in educational resources. The goal is to bring quality education to the children who are most at risk for dropping out of school and never attending college.

When I first learned about Teach For America, I knew this was something that I wanted to do. I've always been passionate about life-long learning and have come to realize that helping others is one of my top priorities. After reading and learning more about the TFA corp, I knew that this was the perfect post graduation opportunity. It gives me a stable income, the chance to move across the country, and the ability to truly make a difference in the life of a child.  

The day has finally come to turn in my application. I'm proud of myself for finally making a decision and whether I move on to the next round of the application process or not, at least I made a step towards my future. I made a plan, I followed through, and I'm hoping for the best.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Why I Broke Up With The Internet. Also, What The Hell I've Been Doing.

You may have noticed that I promised to come back. Like four months ago. Yeah, I've never been very timely.

Back in September I started to go a little crazy. I found myself taking way too many classes, working way too many hours to make a few extra bucks, and not devoting enough time to studying and other normal things like eating and showering.

In an attempt to find a job for winter break at home (plus I had a million doctors appointments) I was dividing my time between school and my hometown. I was driving three hours home and back a few times a week, often making the drive twice in one day on top of going to class, at odd hours of the day. I was sleep deprived and felt like I lived in my car. I flaked on classes, flaked on work at school, flaked on my sanity.

So, I broke up with the internet. When I found myself with the occasional bit of downtime, I realized that the last thing I really needed to be doing was surfing Perez Hilton for two hours. I found myself wasting the little time I had in which I could be doing real life things. I needed a break. From Perez, from Facebook, from attempting to start this blog.

But things have calmed down now. I made it through the quarter, found a job, and caught my breath.

So, I'm declaring the break up over. Come to mama, Interwebz.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

See? I told you I was really bad at this.

Would you believe me if I told you that I had a reeeeaalllyy good excuse as to why I have been MIA for the last few weeks? Oh it's really good...

And no, this time it has nothing to do with rare blood diseases and Mexican jails. It was worse.

I was at my parents house. Oh, and now school just started.

I'm still recovering but I'll try to be back this week. Finger crossies.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

The key to life

I'm planning the wedding now

An open letter to my future husband:

Dear Ryan Reynolds,

I think you're pretty. Probably the prettiest person I've ever seen. And when I say "pretty," I mean "so hot I want to die because your sexiness is literally making my eyeballs explode." In a good way, though.

And, you're also kind of adorable in a little boy, goofy, dumb puppy sort of way. Don't worry, that's totally a compliment.

I know you're married. And if I was completely morally bankrupt that wouldn't even bother me. But instead of becoming a mistress, here's why I propose that you divorce She-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named and marry me instead (see, I have scruples):

1. I make really good omelets. Like really good. People who don't even like eggs have been known to crave my omelets. So yeah, that good. And I would serve you in bed. Naked. Every day.

2. I'm not famous. No need to worry about me shacking up with a co-star or the paps snapping photos of my goodies as they hide outside our house in the trees. The only goodies the paps will be trying to get a shot of are yours. And let's face it, your goods are the only ones that matter.

3. See what I just did there? I said, "your goods are the only ones that matter." Because I'm selfless. In bed.

4. I'm pretty low-maintenance. I don't need lots of jewelry or designer clothes. I just need you. Naked. In bed. Maybe with some omelets.

5. I'm semi-funny and will be able to make you laugh. In bed. And not in bed. Almost everywhere.

6. I might not be as attractive as ScarJo but I promise I'm not Marla Hooch. Which means that your kids would still be cute. And just for you, I will pop as many babies out of my vag as you want. Because that's the kind of nice person I am.

I understand if you need some time to break it to Scarlett. I'll be here when you're ready.

All my love,
Chelsea xxx

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Why great minds think alike

I've been keeping a running list of blog titles and ideas on a Post-It note on my computer desktop so that I don't up and forget something. Yesterday, at the top of the list, I wrote: Why I want to Eat, Pray, Love.

That's why I was in complete and utter awe when I clicked over to Just A Titch as part of my daily morning blog fest and found this. Don't tell me that's not a little bit freaky.

This little coincidence made me think about how much we are all really connected. How much we share the same thoughts and ideas and feelings. How one thing can touch the lives of so many people.

I've always been inspired by other people's stories. Not just the stories that exist in the pages of a book, but the stories of real people living and learning and experiencing. As humans, we all share a common thread. We are all on a journey. A path that is never quite the same as someone elses' but similar in that we are all trying to figure out where our journey is taking us.

A lot of people complain that there isn't a truly original thought left. That something we think of has been thought and written and tried before. I've heard this depresses a lot of people. And while I understand that we all want to be original and unique and craft something so completely novel, I also kind of feel comfort in the fact that with all of the differences in the world that, at the core of our minds and thoughts we can be so much the same.

And I can't wait to both read and watch Eat, Pray, Love because I believe that by listening to the stories of others we can begin to make more sense of our own.

More to come.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Why it would totally suck to be a vampire or maybe that's not what I'm trying to say at all

So today I was standing in front of the mirror in my bathroom brushing my teeth with my roommates toothpaste because hers works so much better than mine and I realized that it would totally suck to not be able to see your reflection. True story.

Don't get me wrong, it's not like I stand in front of the mirror all day staring at myself because I'm not that narcissistic and that would honestly get kinda boring after a while. But wouldn't it totally suck if you were trying to get ready for a night out of drunken debauchery and you couldn't see yourself in the mirror to put on mascara? And when you end up stabbing yourself in the eye with the mascara wand, how are you supposed to make sure that you didn't end up making yourself look like Taylor Momsen?

And then? I wondered why it was that I even care about my appearance so much as to not want to be a totally BA kick-ass vampire just because I wouldn't be able to see what I look like. And the truth? I kind of care what other people think of my appearance. And? I guess I take pride in how I look. Not vain-y as in "look at me I'm so pretty and everyone should think I'm pretty too" kind of way but as in a "I feel good about myself because I took the time to make myself look on the outside how I feel on the inside" kind of pride.

And then, I realized that I am tired of doing things that don't actually make me feel good about myself. Oh sure, I am still probably going to make stupid drunk mistakes and binge on pizza and wine while watching Trueblood. But passing up that girl that dropped the entire contents of her purse on the sidewalk? And not going on that run because it's so much easier to sit on the couch and complain that I don't have anything to do? Yep, I'm going to try and work on that.

Because we should all feel great about ourselves.

But you know what I wonder above all? How does Edward Cullen gets his hair so freaking disheveled slash perfect. Does Emmett do it for him? Awkward.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Why I'm pretty sure Twitter is trying to ruin my life

I like to think that I am an intelligent human being and at least more technically savvy than my father who just recently figured out what texting was (not that he can actually do it in under 20 minutes). But, Twitter? It totally fucking confuses me.

Isn't tweeting just like making a status on Facebook? With lots of confusing @ and # symbols? I can figure out the @ thing. Hello, I'm not, someone really dumb. But the pound thingy? Nope, totally don't get it. It's like a tagging thing, right?


And why do I need another medium to make a drunk fool of myself? How many times a week can I really tell the Interwebz that it's the freakin' weekend (on a Monday) and am sooooo drnrkkkkk. Probably a lot.

And the whole following thing? That's a lot of pressure. I don't have that many friends, y'all. And interacting with celebs like the cool tweeters? Crap my pants right now. I doubt any of my 3 friends (or are they just followers? friends=Facebook only?) would create an army to defend me against William Shatner. So, basically, what's the point?

So, when I sign up for Twitter tomorrow and William Shatner blocks me and I don't have any friends/followers and make a complete ass of myself after a $5 liquor pitcher, I blame Lindsay Lohan and the fact that I really just want to be able to see her coke binged rants about her dad. When she gets out of rehab, of course.

Oh, and if anyone can actually coherently explain this whole Twitter businezz, I'll totally S your D*. Or at least send you a cookie and some nudie photos.

*Did I just make this up or have other people heard this before too? I feel like saying BJ is just so last week. I'm the only one? Go figure.

Why being an adult can totally suck my ballz

You know what's completely fucking overrated? Being a self-sufficient, independent, and responsible adult. Yeah, I said it.

Sometimes I like to give the illusion that I'm a respectable and upstanding adult. But seriously, who the hell am I kidding? I can't even call and order pizza without getting all jittery.

My parents like to tell me that I've always been mature and a responsible. Which is actually very sweet (read: stupid) considering that they're the ones that are always yelling at me to get over it and order the pizza already because everyone's freaking starving. I suppose I have been responsible. I made good grades in high school, stayed out of trouble and the drama, got into a well respected journalism school for college, and have had a handful of jobs in which I've always been on time and worked hard at. But capital-A-Adult things like balancing my checkbook and watching the news and being completely financially independent? Yeah, not so much.

In ten months I will have officially graduated college (finger crossies) and then? It's the Real World. And not the booze fest in which 7 strangers share a ridonculous house in some awesome city. Like the move-the-rest-of-my-crap-out-of-my-parents'-house-get-a-big-girl-job-figure-out-how-taxes-and-oil-changes-work kind of real world. Also: bills, bills, bills. Like more than what I have already. Gross.

And isn't it like a rule of the universe that being an adult means that you're supposed to make meals that don't solely come out of a box or get black-out drunk on a Tuesday and sleep all day Wednesday or wear the same pair of jeans for three weeks straight instead of just doing laundry already?

No thanks. I can't hack it. Count me out.

My brain is practically exploding right now, so excuse me while I go do a shot of tequila to ease the pain of the knowledge that four years of college has absolutely prepared me for nothing except how to use APA style and get drunk on a Tuesday. I'm so fucked.

But seriously, this topic will be brought up again and again so hopefully the next one will be less of me complaining complaining complaining and more about what the hell all of this really means. No promises, though.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Why this blog is already totally screwed

So you know how everyone these days has a blog? Well, I must be running a fever or about to die of tuberculosis because I totally have one now too. Which is weird because I always said I would never get one. For some reason the thought of publicly sharing the details of my life makes me want to vom. And that is so totally hypocritical because I'm a bit of a blog fiend. I love reading blogs. I love stalking random strangers on the blogosphere and pretending that they are my real life friends. I love reading about other people's details.

Having my own blog makes me all vomy probably because this shit is wicked stressful. Like, what am I supposed to talk about? What do I want people to get from my blog? What's the aim? Ha, well, hell if I know. I guess we'll all be surprised. And secondly, how will I constantly be funny and deep and relatable and not a total freak ass like the bloggers that I seriously love and who give me a massive dose of the jealousies?? And, there's the whole naming business too. Which is probably what makes me vomy the most because, hello, like every original thing I can think of is already taken because apparently everyone except my 75 year old gradma has a blog. Except she probably has one too. And now I'm totally screwed because I'm going to end up with a blog name that completely sucks ballz and everyone will laugh at me like the time I threw up outside the cafeteria in second grade. See, wicked stressful.

So, the point of all of this is to not be surprised if I change the name every other day. Or if I update every six months like the time in junior high when I tried to keep a diary and all it ended up in was repeatedly signing my name over and over because I couldn't think of anything to write and in the event that I do write something, it probably won't be at all coherent because I'll probably be drunk because of all of the stress that this blog will give me will force me to drink. So basically this blog is going to make me an alcoholic. Not that I really need help with that anyway.

I'm pretty sure this makes me the worst blogger in the history of ever.

Hi, I'm Chelsea and I'm an alcoholic.