At the time I was all, "This will never happen but its still all funsies and jokey." Then shit got real. Because IT HAPPENED. And I do feel bad, I really do.
How was I supposed to know that he was going to take it so seriously? So, here's note #2 to my future husband.
Don't look so sad, Ryan. I'll take care of you.
I'm sincerely sorry to hear about the breakup between you and Scarlett. I know you must be all kinds of hurt-y, and I would just like to let you know that I'm here and thinking of you. I take it that my last letter had quite an impact on your relationship, and I am feeling sort of to blame for the whole situation. But I know we could be great together so forget about ScarJo, and call me when you're ready.
I hope you all have a fantastic Christmas Eve Eve. Sorry, no calls or texts tonight--I'll be waiting for a very important phone call.