Monday, August 9, 2010

Why I'm pretty sure Twitter is trying to ruin my life

I like to think that I am an intelligent human being and at least more technically savvy than my father who just recently figured out what texting was (not that he can actually do it in under 20 minutes). But, Twitter? It totally fucking confuses me.

Isn't tweeting just like making a status on Facebook? With lots of confusing @ and # symbols? I can figure out the @ thing. Hello, I'm not, someone really dumb. But the pound thingy? Nope, totally don't get it. It's like a tagging thing, right?


And why do I need another medium to make a drunk fool of myself? How many times a week can I really tell the Interwebz that it's the freakin' weekend (on a Monday) and am sooooo drnrkkkkk. Probably a lot.

And the whole following thing? That's a lot of pressure. I don't have that many friends, y'all. And interacting with celebs like the cool tweeters? Crap my pants right now. I doubt any of my 3 friends (or are they just followers? friends=Facebook only?) would create an army to defend me against William Shatner. So, basically, what's the point?

So, when I sign up for Twitter tomorrow and William Shatner blocks me and I don't have any friends/followers and make a complete ass of myself after a $5 liquor pitcher, I blame Lindsay Lohan and the fact that I really just want to be able to see her coke binged rants about her dad. When she gets out of rehab, of course.

Oh, and if anyone can actually coherently explain this whole Twitter businezz, I'll totally S your D*. Or at least send you a cookie and some nudie photos.

*Did I just make this up or have other people heard this before too? I feel like saying BJ is just so last week. I'm the only one? Go figure.

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